May Ah Beng Cheer Up

Someone asks Ah Beng why Najib goes walking only in the evening but not in the morning. Ah Beng replies Najib is PM not AM

Ah Beng buys a new mobile. He sends a message to everyone in his Phone Book & says, 'My Mobile number has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610

Ah Beng : I am proud coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend : Really, what is he studying?
Ah Beng : No, he is not studying, they are studying him.

Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
Dr : Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife : No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.

Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife : How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the park today, everybody said, Oh GOD!  U have come again.

Ah Beng reports to police : 'Sir, all items are missing except the TV in my house.'
Police : 'Why the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news ...'

Ah Beng comes back to his car & finds a note saying 'Parking Fine'.
He writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for compliment.'

How do you recognize Ah Beng in school?
He is the one who erases his notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on the other.
So a man asks him why. He replied that the weather forecast says that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it might be hot.

Ah Beng goes to the cinema alone and returns later with 17 other friends.
He had read a sign which said "Under 18 not allowed"

Ah Beng was sittng in a bar and his cellular phone rings.
He picks it up and says 'Hello, how did you know I am here?'

Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man : This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng : If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

Ah Beng always sit on the lower level of double decker buses.
When asked why so, he says upstairs no driver.

Ah Beng told his servant : 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant : 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella.'