I love the Indian way ...
An inquiry was being held after an accident at a
railway crossing in Punjab, India. A stationmaster was asked by the inquiry
commission, "How many railway crossings are in your area?" Stationmaster, "total of 11 railway crossings, 4 unmanned and 7 manned crossings. Of the 7
manned crossings 4 are male and 3 are female."
After a brief silence, the
inquiry commissioner asked, "what do you mean 'male' and 'female'
crossing?" The Station master replied "where the barrier pole goes up we call
it male and where the gates spread open we call it female !!!
Sunday, 21 June 2015
Mind Your Own Business
A little boy was in a bus eating a chocolate, then he took another one and
then another ...
A man next to him said, "Do you know that too much of it will damage your teeth?"
The boy replied, "My grandfather lived for 132 years". The man asked, "Was it because of eating chocolate?"
The boy replied, No, he was always minding his own business!
A man next to him said, "Do you know that too much of it will damage your teeth?"
The boy replied, "My grandfather lived for 132 years". The man asked, "Was it because of eating chocolate?"
The boy replied, No, he was always minding his own business!
Friday, 19 June 2015
Don't Love Your Company
Love your job but don't love your company, because you may not know when your company stops loving you : Dr APJ Abdul Kalam
ALWAYS LEAVE OFFICE ON TIME
(1) Work is a never-ending process. It can never be completed.
(2) Interest of a client is important, so is your family.
(3) If you fall in your life, neither your boss nor client will offer you a helping hand; your family and friends will.
(4) Life is not only about work, office and client. There is more to live. You need time to socialize, entertain, relax and exercise. Don't let life be meaningless.
(5) A person who stays late at the office is not a hard working person, instead he/she is a fool who does not know how to manage work within the stipulated time. He/She is inefficient and incompetent in his work.
(6) You did not study hard and struggle in life to become a machine.
(7) If your boss forces you to work late, he/she may be ineffective and have a meaningless life too; so forward this to him/her.
ALWAYS LEAVE OFFICE ON TIME
(1) Work is a never-ending process. It can never be completed.
(2) Interest of a client is important, so is your family.
(3) If you fall in your life, neither your boss nor client will offer you a helping hand; your family and friends will.
(4) Life is not only about work, office and client. There is more to live. You need time to socialize, entertain, relax and exercise. Don't let life be meaningless.
(5) A person who stays late at the office is not a hard working person, instead he/she is a fool who does not know how to manage work within the stipulated time. He/She is inefficient and incompetent in his work.
(6) You did not study hard and struggle in life to become a machine.
(7) If your boss forces you to work late, he/she may be ineffective and have a meaningless life too; so forward this to him/her.
Without My Knowledge
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your luggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
This happened in Elizabeth S.A.
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
This happened in Elizabeth S.A.
Minimal Lettuce
My daughter went to a Mexican takeaway and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce'. He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. From Bankstown, Sydney ...
Wombat Crossing
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbour call the local council P & W Office to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason : 'Too many wombats are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore'.
Story from Collingwood, Melbourne
We recently had a new neighbour call the local council P & W Office to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason : 'Too many wombats are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore'.
Story from Collingwood, Melbourne
Garage Door
We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'you need a 1/4 horsepower'.
I responded that 1/2 was large that 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not, Four is larger that two'. We haven't used that repairman since ... this happened in Ipswich, Qld.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'you need a 1/4 horsepower'.
I responded that 1/2 was large that 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not, Four is larger that two'. We haven't used that repairman since ... this happened in Ipswich, Qld.
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