American Customs

A Chinese man decides to retire and move to USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He buys a nice home on a small piece of land. A few days after moving in, a friendly American neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy to their neighbourhood. He goes next door but on his way up the driveway he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens. Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.

The next day, he decides to tries again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drinking it. Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day. A day later, he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man leading a bull down the drive-way, ... pausing ... and then putting his left ear next to the bull's butt.

The American bloke can't handle this any longer so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, 'Jeez, mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood and see you running around the yard after hens.The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you.' The Chinese man was very taken back and says,  'Sorry, sir, you no..no understand. This is not Chinese customs I am following and doing this according to American Customs.'

'What do you mean?' says the neighbour, 'Those aren't American customs!'

'Yes they are. Man at travel agent tell me,' replied the Chinese man. 'He say to become true blue American, I must learn to ... chase chicks around, get piss drunk, and learn how to listen to bull-shit ...'