A woman was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane ... unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sydney.The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay,and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes. Everybody got off the place except one lady who was blind. A man had noticed here as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye Dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.
He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by her name, said 'Kathy, we are in Sydney for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?'
The blind lady replied, 'No thanks, but maybe Max would like to stretch his legs.'
Picture this :
All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot wlak off the plane with a Seeing Eye Dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!
True story ... have a great day and remember ... THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.
Monday, 13 July 2015
Born in the 40s, 50s and 60s
[One Version]
Without any maids, our mothers cooked, cleaned and took care of the whole family. They still had time to chat with neighbours. Everyone had candy floss, fizzy drinks and shaved ice with syrups. Diabetes were rare and aspirin and Panadol cured all illness. We rode adult's bicycle to school, the richer ones had their own mini-bikes. Ironically, we all had problems with our brakes, and after running into the bushes a few times, we learned how to solve the problem. Prefects were a fearful lot ... more fearful than the teachers. Detention class was like going to prison for a day. We had "public canning" in schools.
NO ONE ever won the big prices on "TIKAM". It was a scam but it did not stop us from coming back for more. Motorbikes were rode without helmets. It was rare to ride a private taxi. Taking a bus was luxury - we either cycled or walked to everywhere. We drank water from the tap and NOT from bottles. We spent hours in fields under the sun, playing football or flying kites, without worrying about UV rays. It did not affect us. We roamed free, catching spiders and did not worry of Aedes mosquitoes. We kept our spiders in match boxes and ready for a fight anytime.
With mere 5 pebbles, girls played endless games; and with a tennis ball, boys ran like crazy for hours. When it rained, we swam the drains & canals to catch "ikan keli", none of us were dissolved in rain. We shared one bottle of soft drink with friends, NO ONE actually worried about catching anything. We ate salty, sweet & oily foods, bread had real butter and sometimes condense milk. We enjoyed very sweet coffee, tea, and "ice kacang" but we were not obese because ... WE WERE OUT PLAYING ALL THE TIME!!
We left home in the morning and played all day till hunger drove us back home. When needed, our parents knew how to find us. NO ONE actually watched over us and WE ALWAYS WERE SAFE. WE DID NOT HAVE HANDPHONES BUGGING US. We rode bikes or walked over to a friend's house and just yelled for them !!! We did not have Playstations, X-boxes, Nintendo's, multiple channels on cable TV, DVD movies, no surround sound, no phones, no personal computers, no Internet. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!! Our TV was black and white. We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and we still continued the stunts.
We did not have birthdays parties till we were 21, that is when we started to take noticed of girls. We have not heard of the word "Bumiputra". We only knew our friends by names. Their parents were Pak Cik and Mak Cik or Uncle and Aunty. In badminton, we did not change the shuttle as long as it was in flight. Regardless of how many feathers were left in the shuttle, our game continued ... but still Wong Peng Soon and Punch Gunalan made us proud in Badminton. Match-boxes were always "chilly" or "king kong" brand ... to own a box of matches from a hotel was something great.
Regardless of whether we could afford one, we always knew Maths tuition was $10.00 a month. All parties were held in the Town Hall. We felt pleased to see a policeman and we were always eager to tell police everything we saw. Morris Minor and Volkswagen Beetle were on our roads...driven alongside Kingswood, Vauxhall, Opel and Chrysler. Executives of companies drove Peugeot 504. Japanese cars were considered "inferior". There were no traffic lights, only roundabouts.
The whole kampung came together during kenduris and all took turns to "kacau dodol". Chinese, Indians and Malays were all part of kenduris and all of us spoke Malay. Our favourite local performer was Rose Chan and the Beatles were the most popular band. John Wayne's westerns on Sunday Cheap Matinees were 25 cent per show. Malay weddings had joget sessions in the night, it was the only time to ask the Malay lady for a dance. Ketupat were NEVER plastic wrapped.
Football was played barefooted in torn-filled "padangs", rain or shine ... but still Santokh Singh, Soh Chin Ann and Mokhtar Dahari made us proud, we actually beat South Korea in football. JPJ testers instill fear and were highly respected ... Susu lembu was delivered to our house by our big, friendly and strong "Bayi" on his bicycle. All "jagas" were "Bayi" and no place got robbed. "Laksa" and "Putu Mayam" man came peddling. "Kacang Puteh" man walked balancing on his head top, 6 compartments of different type of murukus.
We played "gasing", made our own kites & had kite fighting with glass glued threads and made wooden guns & used seeds from plants for bullets. Kang Kong was free … easily harvested by riverside. "Kembong" was 30 cents a "kati" and nobody wanted "ikan pari". When the Circus came to town, everybody went to see it. It was the best LIVE show I ever saw. Usually we did not have to BUY fruits; they were self planted or given by neighbours or friends.
The idea of parents bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. Our parents actually sided with the law ! Nobody knew about child psychology! Yet this generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 40 years have been an explosion of innovations and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned ... HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! And YOU are one of them!!
CONGRATULATIONS!!
Without any maids, our mothers cooked, cleaned and took care of the whole family. They still had time to chat with neighbours. Everyone had candy floss, fizzy drinks and shaved ice with syrups. Diabetes were rare and aspirin and Panadol cured all illness. We rode adult's bicycle to school, the richer ones had their own mini-bikes. Ironically, we all had problems with our brakes, and after running into the bushes a few times, we learned how to solve the problem. Prefects were a fearful lot ... more fearful than the teachers. Detention class was like going to prison for a day. We had "public canning" in schools.
NO ONE ever won the big prices on "TIKAM". It was a scam but it did not stop us from coming back for more. Motorbikes were rode without helmets. It was rare to ride a private taxi. Taking a bus was luxury - we either cycled or walked to everywhere. We drank water from the tap and NOT from bottles. We spent hours in fields under the sun, playing football or flying kites, without worrying about UV rays. It did not affect us. We roamed free, catching spiders and did not worry of Aedes mosquitoes. We kept our spiders in match boxes and ready for a fight anytime.
With mere 5 pebbles, girls played endless games; and with a tennis ball, boys ran like crazy for hours. When it rained, we swam the drains & canals to catch "ikan keli", none of us were dissolved in rain. We shared one bottle of soft drink with friends, NO ONE actually worried about catching anything. We ate salty, sweet & oily foods, bread had real butter and sometimes condense milk. We enjoyed very sweet coffee, tea, and "ice kacang" but we were not obese because ... WE WERE OUT PLAYING ALL THE TIME!!
We left home in the morning and played all day till hunger drove us back home. When needed, our parents knew how to find us. NO ONE actually watched over us and WE ALWAYS WERE SAFE. WE DID NOT HAVE HANDPHONES BUGGING US. We rode bikes or walked over to a friend's house and just yelled for them !!! We did not have Playstations, X-boxes, Nintendo's, multiple channels on cable TV, DVD movies, no surround sound, no phones, no personal computers, no Internet. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!! Our TV was black and white. We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and we still continued the stunts.
We did not have birthdays parties till we were 21, that is when we started to take noticed of girls. We have not heard of the word "Bumiputra". We only knew our friends by names. Their parents were Pak Cik and Mak Cik or Uncle and Aunty. In badminton, we did not change the shuttle as long as it was in flight. Regardless of how many feathers were left in the shuttle, our game continued ... but still Wong Peng Soon and Punch Gunalan made us proud in Badminton. Match-boxes were always "chilly" or "king kong" brand ... to own a box of matches from a hotel was something great.
Regardless of whether we could afford one, we always knew Maths tuition was $10.00 a month. All parties were held in the Town Hall. We felt pleased to see a policeman and we were always eager to tell police everything we saw. Morris Minor and Volkswagen Beetle were on our roads...driven alongside Kingswood, Vauxhall, Opel and Chrysler. Executives of companies drove Peugeot 504. Japanese cars were considered "inferior". There were no traffic lights, only roundabouts.
The whole kampung came together during kenduris and all took turns to "kacau dodol". Chinese, Indians and Malays were all part of kenduris and all of us spoke Malay. Our favourite local performer was Rose Chan and the Beatles were the most popular band. John Wayne's westerns on Sunday Cheap Matinees were 25 cent per show. Malay weddings had joget sessions in the night, it was the only time to ask the Malay lady for a dance. Ketupat were NEVER plastic wrapped.
Football was played barefooted in torn-filled "padangs", rain or shine ... but still Santokh Singh, Soh Chin Ann and Mokhtar Dahari made us proud, we actually beat South Korea in football. JPJ testers instill fear and were highly respected ... Susu lembu was delivered to our house by our big, friendly and strong "Bayi" on his bicycle. All "jagas" were "Bayi" and no place got robbed. "Laksa" and "Putu Mayam" man came peddling. "Kacang Puteh" man walked balancing on his head top, 6 compartments of different type of murukus.
We played "gasing", made our own kites & had kite fighting with glass glued threads and made wooden guns & used seeds from plants for bullets. Kang Kong was free … easily harvested by riverside. "Kembong" was 30 cents a "kati" and nobody wanted "ikan pari". When the Circus came to town, everybody went to see it. It was the best LIVE show I ever saw. Usually we did not have to BUY fruits; they were self planted or given by neighbours or friends.
The idea of parents bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. Our parents actually sided with the law ! Nobody knew about child psychology! Yet this generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 40 years have been an explosion of innovations and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned ... HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! And YOU are one of them!!
CONGRATULATIONS!!
Friday, 3 July 2015
American Customs
A Chinese man decides to retire and move to USA after 50 years of living in
Shanghai. He buys a nice home on a small piece of land. A few days after
moving in, a friendly American neighbour decides to go across and welcome the
new guy to their neighbourhood. He goes next door but on his way up the
driveway he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10
hens. Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the
welcome on hold for the day.
The next day, he decides to tries again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drinking it. Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day. A day later, he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man leading a bull down the drive-way, ... pausing ... and then putting his left ear next to the bull's butt.
The American bloke can't handle this any longer so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, 'Jeez, mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood and see you running around the yard after hens.The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you.' The Chinese man was very taken back and says, 'Sorry, sir, you no..no understand. This is not Chinese customs I am following and doing this according to American Customs.'
'What do you mean?' says the neighbour, 'Those aren't American customs!'
'Yes they are. Man at travel agent tell me,' replied the Chinese man. 'He say to become true blue American, I must learn to ... chase chicks around, get piss drunk, and learn how to listen to bull-shit ...'
The next day, he decides to tries again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drinking it. Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day. A day later, he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man leading a bull down the drive-way, ... pausing ... and then putting his left ear next to the bull's butt.
The American bloke can't handle this any longer so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, 'Jeez, mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood and see you running around the yard after hens.The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you.' The Chinese man was very taken back and says, 'Sorry, sir, you no..no understand. This is not Chinese customs I am following and doing this according to American Customs.'
'What do you mean?' says the neighbour, 'Those aren't American customs!'
'Yes they are. Man at travel agent tell me,' replied the Chinese man. 'He say to become true blue American, I must learn to ... chase chicks around, get piss drunk, and learn how to listen to bull-shit ...'
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